In the Gutter Cake

What's up with me? I'm preparing to bake something for FEAST tomorrow (FEAST -an acronym for Funding Emerging Art with Sustainable Tactics- is the wonderful Brooklyn-based community dinner that turns your entry fee into a democratically funded grant for artists), and I'm totally stuck. It's not that big of a deal, there will be plenty of peeps bringing in their sweet treats, as the dessert table is potluck, but I'm under a considerable amount of pressure. This pressure that I speak of stems from several places- mainly, my own desire to get back into the kitchen and feel something again (like, happiness), and also, the pressure of having other things to do than spend hours in my kitchen today.

I've been working on the bake sale for the past year now, and towards the end of 2008 I started to feel incredibly burnt out yet really curious to know what I could do with this little project. So after a few tweaks to the project and some bake sales in January, I developed the Bake Sale Residency program, where I am able to put my creative foodie efforts into a program that actually helps other artists. My role for the Residency is more administrative, but I still love to bake me some tasty treats. I guess the best solution I'm looking for has to do with a really delicious recipe, something that really says "spring is here!", but isn't too complicated and won't let me down. Part of my excitement about being back in the kitchen (I haven't baked since the last FEAST event, which was last month) is trying out new recipes, except I'm also an overachiever and I don't want to fuck up.

So I've been searching and searching for a lemon-blueberry glazed buttermilk cake recipe that is somewhere between an after dinner poundcake/coffee cake and could also stand in as the sweet ending to a really special occasion, like a birthday. I think I might have to adapt a recipe or make it up myself, which wouldn't be so bad and might satiate my need for playful domestic experimentation (that also won't disappoint me), but that means I will have to spend more time in the kitchen than I really have.

In short: My predicament is less about making a cake for FEAST and more about personal achievement.

I better get in that kitchen and start workin it. See you at FEAST!